Well, there isn't much gossip. Because of my recent kidney, bladder, skin and sinus infection debacle...I have been keeping a pretty low profile. Those of you privy to my intense discomfort and often embarassing symptoms will be pleased to hear that i am well on my way to recovery and the medical supplies here are adequate for my needs.
I spent only 2 of the last ten days at work. Most of it was not my fault, as I only missed two days of school. We had a 5 day weekend because of Eid (a Muslim Holiday) and I was beyond greatful for it.
I really don't have any new pictures either, and cant photograph any of the cool items I bought from the market because most are Christmas presents. Oh, and Josie has not yet given me the other pictures in a format in which my computer will appreciate. Poor little Mac.
Instead, I am taking a page out of Michael Hammond's book (literally, I think he is up to Book of Michael Seven, or such) and am going to rant about the things that bother me. He is horrifyingly more elegant and eloquent but I had to return the favor and drop his name at least once. Plus, here I can vent in a public forum without being shot.

You're Welcome
This is something that all of the Nigerian people say. As soon as you walk through the door....you're welcome. As soon as you step outside, you're welcome. See, some white person ages ago must have beaten the concept of polite society and declared that welcoming everyone into your vicinity is the only thing to do. However, the tone, or I should say inflection of the phrase is much different than you and I would say. It is said as if you have been done a special favor. You see, the phrase is only used as a greeting, not as an affirmation of receiving thanks. Anytime you actually receive help? Nothing. You're welcome is only reserved for white people and only as a small talk phrase. So every time I arrive anywhere, I am told that I am welcome....for being allowed in the presence of greatness, i assume. It takes a while to get used to and is often mocked privately in my own home. Walk into a new room? You're welcome.

Horn Honking
Oh holy cow! Traffic here is an amazing, scary, and awful thing. If only words could describe the sonic sound and general panic feeling of the common commute. When you arent squishing three cars into 20 feet of road, you are stopped dead, jammed into a seemingly chaotic pile of other cars. Many times, the side mirrors on the car must be closed in as to allow enough space for the car next to us. In this environment, when construction, vendors, beggars and heat prevent motorists from communicating effectively with one another they honk. And honk, and honk. Its a way of life here. It is not out of anger, or rudeness, though it is often done with the same emotions and intents, it is mostly a warning system to other drivers and pedestrians that our car is approaching, cutting off, or generally getting into your cars way, or visa versa.
You can imagine that in a city of 15 million, the honking creates a never ending sound. All times at night and especially during traffic the honking can be overwhelming.
The single time there is not a resonating horn throughout the city is during sanitation Saturday. The fourth Saturday of every month has four hours of the morning for road and street maintenance. Blissful quiet ensues when no motor vehicles are allowed in the city during these hours. This is quite the joke, as you can see from previous posts, the roads or horrible. But the morning of relative silence is appreciated.

Tiny village syndrome
Everyone knows everything about everyone. It doesn't matter if you only wrote it in your journal, under the covers away from prying eyes. Someone will know. I have been accused of all sorts of misunderstandings and gossip that has been fortunate enough to reach the ears of my superiors. Oh yes, there is nothing like defending yourself from accusations of leaving the country unannounced, moving off compound to shack up with someone you met casually, and of course...needing a kidney transplant. Oh yes. This little village is very busy with gossip. I am tempted to just start spreading my own rumors....at least they would be more imaginative.