Its official.....I'm an idiot

A friend came to me and asked me to prepare a cake for her husband's birthday. I said sure, though I am far from experienced with baking cakes, and said that I only needed the supplies. She brought me oil, water, six eggs, and two boxes of cake mix. She also brought me two deep round cake pans 8 inches in diameter. I began making the cake and budgeted just enough time to make it, bake it, let it cool and frost it. I finish mixing (by hand, mind you) the entire two boxes of cake mix and then poured the batter into the two cake pans. I figured I was on my way to yet another brilliant masterpiece.

Now, those of you experienced in such matters know that a cake mix makes two pans. Two cake mixes would make four. What happens when you put four pans of cake into two? An explosion!!! No, seriously. It took about twenty minutes for me to notice the smell. I run to the oven and sure enough, I have a boiling mess covering the bottom of the oven. As any good cook does, I panicked. I grabbed tin foil and covered the bottom to catch anything more falling out. But judging the amount that poured out, I figured it had done all the damage it was going to do. I hoped that it might only take the non-burning part (the stuff remaining in the pan) ten more minutes to cook and unwisely shut the oven to let it continue. I quickly found out two things: my flat does not have a smoke detector and I am truly grateful for this fact.
After five minutes smoke began billowing out of the kitchen and my flat was quickly filled to the point where I had a hard time breathing and seeing.

I ran into the kitchen, pulled open the oven (which was spewing smoke out of every crack) and promptly gagged. The cakes were not done....in fact, they had poured even more of themselves onto the bottom of the oven. I am not sure why they hated me so much.

I pulled the two pans out and poured a good half cup of batter out. I also scraped off the baked part on top. I ran to the next door neighbor and asked for his oven. My plan, though created through desperation, was to try and complete the baking of the remaining batter. Half of the pan was already cooked through and the rest was a goopy watery mess. But I had to try. I then went back to the kitchen to try every method I knew to disperse the smoke.

While I am opening windows, turning up AC units and creating ventilation....the friend comes walking in. Her comment? "I could smell the smoke all the way downstairs." Why is this a big deal? Cause I am on the 5th floor. I had to show her the damage and try to explain that maybe there was still a chance things could work out ok? Unfortunately, because of my perfectly budgeted time, I didnt have enough time to make a new cake....nor the supplies or oven.

I cleaned up all that I could from the tin foil and put it in the trash, I then moved to try and clean counters, floor and materials from both the goopy mess and the smoke. I eventually gave up and trusted that my poor steward, who came the next day, would be able to handle it.

For the next forty minutes I was OCD about checking the cakes to see if they were done. The original instructions say to bake for 35 minutes. They had been in the oven for a total of two hours by the time I could pull a toothpick back out clean. I had no idea how they would taste but I had to try.

I pulled them out of the oven, took them back to my smoke infested kitchen and flipped them out to let them cool. One completely fell apart. I am talking serious nervous breakdown. But as I tested parts that fell off, they tasted marvelous. I waited for them to cool, placed them on a plate and covered them with frosting.

The end result, if I may, was spectacular. I, while a total idiot, am brilliant in my incompetence.



Here is the tin foil overwhelming the garbage can. It had weight too because it contained an entire cake worth of batter in it.



This is the after picture of the dishes. I say after cause I had already cleaned about half of them.



This disaster is my oven bottom AFTER I had cleaned some and AFTER I had already pulled out the covered tin foil. This poor oven may not be able to recover. But that crusted on cake looks mighty good. Gives new definition to 'caked on.'

But here it is! The finished product. I rock. I even did the words using a ziplock bag, and some self-colored frosting.